Sometimes I lose Mondays. Other days, too, but more often Mondays.
I “lost” one yesterday. At least that’s what I thought.
The disappointments all ganged up and clobbered me. I’d put my hope and trust in people, and well, people let you down, and some let you down more than others, and more unexpectedly, and that’s like a dream wherein the floor you’re standing on suddenly retracts and disappears, and down you go, falling, falling, and you know how that feels in a dream, but it feels a lot worse in life.
So I “wasted” the day — well, much of it — weeping and fuming and wailing (when no one could hear) and grumbling and growling (silent or not, depending on whether I seemed safely secluded).
And I knew all through the process (at least in my head) that I needn’t fret, because God is my all, all I’ll ever need, and I should be trusting Him instead of people… “But God… But, God!…”
It was a refining fire. I knew it, even as I watched all that ugly, stinky dross come floating up from my impure insides for Him to pour away, and make me shinier cleaner, purged of all my angry hurt.
Yes, trust not in a human (Ps 118:8-9, 146:3; Mic 7:5)… even self! I surprised and disappointed me as much as anyone else did.
Was it good? Bad?
The bad was the attitudes I hated seeing in myself.
The good: my God who listened like the perfect loving Father He is — and walked me through the learning. And when I got all done and, worn out from my flailing, came at last to rest (in His arms), I knew I’d just gotten a good, needed lesson.
The whole thing. I needed the disappointment, to get me back to trusting the reliable, drawn back to Him instead of drawn away to my foolish idols.
He is good, and that’s what made it good — not a wasted day after all.
… And today is Tuesday.
10 thoughts on ““Lost” Monday”
Neighbors at Jen’s….I love how you came full circle here…He walks along these cycles we travel…so thankful for His grace…nothing is ever wasted…blessings to you…
Oh, thank you, Roseann. God brings us full circle, if we let Him. And then, yes, you are certainly right, nothing is wasted. Rich blessings back. I’m blessed by your visit!
This encouraged me.
Denise, I am so glad, so encouraged myself, if this encouraged you. I just visited your site, and I see that you have been going through some large trials and struggles. Sometimes I think our Christian life-walk comes down to helping one another limp along the path toward God that He has put us on, our very wounds and failings making us most helpful to others, because they give us a more understanding heart–and God’s grace manifests itself more through our admitted weaknesses than through where we might think we’re strong. God bless you, Denise. Prayers for you.
I am reading of death experiences because a friend gave me the book and asked me to read it. It has given me a new perspective on “wasted” days when I read about those dying in their youth (and I mean as young as in their 60’s as that is where I am). Eek! Every day is a gift, isn’t it? If I get to live the whole day that is nothing but gain. Who cares what I am doing as long as I am breathing and not in sin? It’s 6:30 AM. I’m about to just “do the next thing” whatever He sends.
Hm, Dawn, your comment makes me think about wasted days as defined by great men of God of the past (according to A. W. Tozer). They would define a day wasted if they had not spent some time alone with God in it. In that light, even those struggle times when we wrestle our disappointments, fears, and shortcomings to the ground with Him we hardly waste the day! Thank for good thoughts. Treasuring the precious minutes…
In everything, God has a purpose…even in our “wasted days”. The key is to keep our ears tuned to Him always, especially in those times, so we can hear His message for us!
So very true, Joan. Thank you! And God bless!
I’ve had those days where I felt like I wasted it with my internal ranting and external tears. But perhaps they’re not a waste. After all, He is listening to every word and bottling every tear. And knowing Him, He’s probably using that “wasted day” to teach me something He’s been wanting me to learn for a while.
Thank you for sharing from a place that is real and raw. It’s this very honesty and transparency through these written words that bind our hearts, across the distance.
Thank you for such kind encouragement, Denise. Truly, on such days, we’re honest-to-God. He knows all the garbage inside to start with, and we do need to dump it out there to deal with and eliminate it. I just sometimes wish I’d manage to do that more shortly and sweetly… Ah, well, what a gracious forgiving and healing God we have! Rich blessings to you this weekend!
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