Fuchs’ (pronounced “fewks,” or “fooks”) Dystrophy: That’s what the eyes have. Never heard of it? Me neither, till last Friday. This incurable progressive deterioration of the cornea (and thus, vision) is evidently the “something else” my optometrist wanted the ophthalmologist to “look at,” (mentioned way back in this post).

So my cataracts fade to relative unimportance. Nothing known can cure Fuchs’ Dystrophy, but some things can speed it up–like catract surgery. So yesterday I called and cancelled mine.

High Hopes and Crashes

I’d had such high hopes. My first (three-hour) ophthalmology appointment’s rosy forecast led me to believe cataract surgery might give me better vision than I’d ever enjoyed. After earlier impressions that some unnamed risk might nix the operation, the radically different report then at the ophthalmologist’s had me exulting profusely as Husband and I exited the clinic’s big revolving door.

Why I got such a wrong message, I don’t know. But the unhappy truth became evident last Friday (partly). The surgeon then told me I couldn’t expect 20-20 vision, even from Crystalens, because of my astigmatism in both eyes (greater than I’d previously been told), and my Fuchs dystrophy (what’s that?!?), which meant I would experience glare. That’s the first I heard of this disease.

Thank God…

… the surgeon let me know about the dystrophy.

…I didn’t choose then between lens types offered, but said I’ll talk with Husband, then call.

… faithful friends were praying wisdom for me Friday. 9:20 AM, there in the consultation room, I could feel their prayer–or some unexplainable blessing from God–washing over me…

… reliable medical internet sites gave me lots of needed information fast…

And thank God for His grace to His little children like me. Because…

How Do I Feel?

Husband came home Saturday from breakfast with a friend to find me at my computer. I told him what I’d learned, my shattered expectations. And then came the tears.

“But it’s okay,” I said.

“Is it?” he asked, earnest.

“Yes, it’s okay–because God’s okay.” And I smiled hope again. Not for earthly vision, but for joy. False expectations were what had gotten me. Build-up to let-down.

I made peace with vision loss back in January.

The later rosy reports took me up Mt. Pisgah, to peek at a Promised Land of clear eyesight.

Now I knew (like Moses) I would not enter. (Rise high, then crash!)

That’s the half-empty part of the glass. I am looking at the full part. And yes, I can see it quite well. I can see a lot of things quite well. And oh, how much I appreciate daily my view of anything. And I know (for I have seen the evidence repeatedly) that God is good, and does good for His own.

He could heal my vision if He chooses–I’ve witnessed miracles like that. But He just may choose not to.  One way or the other, I trust He has good reason that will only bless me in the long view. More on these things in future posts.