The Sylvr Pen

They chase each other over fields and woods in wild teasing play.

Sunlight and Shadows

I run and grab a camera.

Clicking pics as close one after one as camera permits, I still can scarcely capture the mad abandon of their game, switching back and forth, up and down, racing over hills, come and gone in flashes.

And all along I think of God our Father most reliable, and words of James 1:17, and smile.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. (James 1:17 NKJV)

… who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17, NIV)

 v

Doing Five Minute Friday here today.

Prompt word: “TENDER”

(go)

Oh, that our hearts were more tender toward the God who poured out such tender, painful love for us. Oh that we cared enough to want to worship Him daily in the beauty of holiness, instead of being so distracted away by every novelty of trivia.

I see sometimes such crassness instead of holy awe. Pride in being a Christian on the one hand and next moment questionable humor or angry politics or overindulgence in His blessings, forgetting Him.

Oh, let us worship the Lord in the beauty of His holiness, let us let “Christ in us” fill us enough that He shines forth in the perfection that’s His alone, and He is seen, and we, as the background setting we’re meant to be, fade pale in His light.

(stop)

Disclaimer, added after the 5-minute writing bout: Assuredly, I need this reminder as much as anyone. He is so good to me, never forgetting tiny me — and in all life’s crazy distractions, I too often forget awesome and amazing and holy Him! Unbelievable! I grieve myself! And I’m sure I grieve Him…

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I could make a list of to-do actions, motions of “love” toward enemies. I could resolve to fight down envy the minute it strikes, to “do love acts” toward unlovely actors, while not forgetting “kind” gestures and “thoughtfulness” toward nearest and dearest…

But that (alone) won’t do it!

All that might not even be love!

Love is patient, kind, etc., descriptions of not just outward actions, but of inward state of heart.

All forced outward motions look uncomfortably like 1 Corinthians 13’s beginning: the hard big truth that love is NOT outwardly attractive yet hollow acts of eloquent words, mountain-moving changes for the whole world’s good, even giving body, soul, and pocketbook (and all within them!) toward others’ benefit.

Love produces such actions, but other motives can too. Flatterers, schmoozers, and hypocrites all can act the actions, for even nefarious, self-serving ends.

So just forcing right deeds from my muscles, myself alone, won’t manifest true Christlike love!

Then what will?

Love is patient, kind, finds joy in truth… Where else have I seen those words? Galatians 5:22. Fruit of the Spirit.

What spirit? Whose spirit?

Not mine!

But the Spirit, dwelling, filling, within. If it (He) is dwelling and filling!

I can’t produce love by mere actions. Love is the producer, not the product. And love can’t arise from my sinful self. Love comes from God. God in Heaven, God (Christ) in me. It’s part of the fruit of His own Spirit. Without a fullness of that Spirit, there’s not enough oil of love to overflow, to spill love out on others.

So, first and most important: more of Him, of His Spirit, filling, taking over. Top priority.

But ah, such striving rages…

They wrestle: Two at odds, vying for predominance — within my being, struggling of late — much like those two babes wrestling in Rebekah’s womb, likewise in Tamar’s, battling for first place, competing for birthing.

Seemingly not just two wee babes within me, however, but an entire crowd! Selfishness fighting Selflessness, Irritation combating kind Patience, Weary-with-well-doing opposing Perseverance… and so on. All vying for birth in my thoughts, then my actions.

Seeming multitudes. But really, two entities only: Me (me-thoughts and me-actions), seeking birth by my spirit, versus Christ-in-me (Christ-thoughts and actions) deeply desiring Holy-Spirit-wrought birth from my new person.

Three short months back, so different it was… Really! Outside offences rolled over and off me, so much more easily, as strength kept growing within. Evil-wishers so seldom could stir a “rise” of anger, fear, or self-pity. Enemy arrows failed so often to penetrate a stronger-armored me.

Why? Then I was gathering to myself more “hours,” and clinging to them: set times of drawing near Him who is all perfection and Who bears out all good that can ever come through me. And though I noticed this changed state after while, as prayer times grew more numerous, fixed, and certain, not till December’s residue of chaos left January poor in November’s inner wealth… not until then did the difference fully strike me.

So number one for me right now, prerequisite to producing Spirit fruit, IS the Spirit, of God Himself, Christ in Me, cultivated carefully by draw-near effort, watered by repeated douses of time.

How can I give what I have not gained? How can I gain the life and love of the Vine?

Closer, ever closer to the source, the only place I can draw into my own heart the love to give.

*****

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Word-filled Wednesday

Oil pouring, pouring. And increasing as it pours out! Pouring, pouring, till there’s no room left to hold it.

The sermon declares our need for fresh fillings of God’s Spirit, and shows, via 2 Kings 4:1-7, how we can get this.

I listen. I take notes. I come home and ponder, repeatedly. Into Monday. Into Tuesday.

For two huge reasons:

a) My focus word for 2012: “closer” — as in “closer walk with Thee,” as in “Nearer, my God, to Thee,”

and

b) My ongoing desire to fulfill God’s purpose for my remaining earth-time. Fulfill as in full fill, fill as fully as possible.

So my heart listens hard to the remembered three part instructions:

(Like the destitute widow…)

1) First, I need to ask. And who should I ask but God?

Simple enough, and exactly what Jesus said (in Luke 11:9-13) to do.

It’s just plain spiritual common sense. Could I expect to draw nearer to the great God, Who is Spirit, on my own, in my flesh? Could I expect to do spiritual work by human efforts alone?

So it floors me that I have not yet asked Him to work in me to bring it about! Where have I been??

(Mark that one not yet done! Meaning, I haven’t even gotten started on this 2012 aim!)

2) Second, I need to prepare to receive it as the widow did the oil

I need to ask, as Elisha did, “What do you have” already?

What I have of God’s Spirit already is

a) the beginning work of grace, and

b) unique spiritual gifts, the main one of which I know to be that teaching gift by which God illumines Scriptural principles, truths, and insights, and helps bring them to life for others. There are other things (encouragement, mercies), but this teaching one has been lying in hibernation, opportunities closed, ministries ended. And all that seems left is a few drops of oil of potential with nowhere to go.

Which leads to the other part of preparation: gathering all the potential vessels possible.

Yike! I feel tension mounting! Speaking engagements? Classes, Bible study groups? Online Bible explorations via blog? It scares me, thinking of resurrecting openly those fascinating but potentially controversial old studies — like the one that keeps coming to mind, the one with Song of Solomon as springboard…

But yes, honesty concurs with the sermon, which stressed the importance of nabbing every possible appropriate empty vessel. Borrow! Beg! But don’t get just one! Or two!

Finally…

3) I need then to readily receive

Take in, fill up. All of it possible! “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it,” quoted the pastor (Ps 81:10), reminding me how that verse jump-started George Mueller’s amazing orphan work.

I also consider how the widow received continually more: by pouring it out, into all receptacles available.

—

I must admit I’m feeling daunted. I was just about to relax, draw back, do less, slide into shadows, “retire.”

Now this.

I’m not bounding out thither and yon. Not yet! There’s this thing called presumption. Also precipitateness.

Yet, ending my notes page in my journal, in large letters, I wrote…

“Hm.”

Maybe I’ll just start today with step one. Can’t go wrong with that. Then I’ll think about #2…

Please pray for me…

 *****

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And… State of the Heart

In stillness now, they receive the covering.

They warm as it blankets, gentle in the chill.

“For He says to the snow, ‘Fall [on] the earth'” (Job 37:6).

“He gives snow like wool…” (Ps 147:16).

In wind it flies sparkling.

Limbs wave, clatter, and applause arises to dawning skies.

Someday…

“All the trees of the field will clap their hands…” (Is 55:12).

Waiting…

*****

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