Awake, at 2:15

 

Doing a Five Minute Friday thing here right now, around the word “awake.”

 

[Go:]

Here I am at 2:15, awake. Husband got up for a bathroom call, then the bathroom called me, then I was awake (sorta).

So I thought, this is a good time to pray for people who are going through a tough time. Because, who knows, maybe they’re sitting up in the middle of the night, awake and grieving, or fighting worry, or in pain of some other kind.

And so I take a few quick moments to pray. But the moments grow larger, and I am starting to feel more awake. But it’s only 2:30, and I want to function in the real morning, so…

Off I traipse to tuck myself back into bed.

I lie there. My mind trails about, forms circular paths, starts revving higher, swirling more and more…

I’m awake!

I never intended this. I was all about God giving sleep to his beloved, and so receive that sleep. But I can’t do much about this awakeness. Except “redeem the time.”

Perfect time for reflective Bible reading. For contemplative and worshipful and intercessory prayer. Let me use my awake time well.

[Stop.]

Linked to…

Best: Small Steps and Slow

 

It’s hard to stifle: the itch to add another resolution, and another…, to try to dive into twenty lakes at once and swim them all simultaneously.

Not possible, or sane. Nor an act of faith. Faith is based on more than type-A drive, or impetuous whimsy.

My 2012 “heart word,” “closer,” is a response to God’s word. It’s an “active resting” in His promise, “Draw near to  God and He will draw near to you” (Jas 4:8).

And the one small step I chose for January habit-building, getting to bed nightly by 10:30, falls under the major goal that year-word expresses, and also springs from scripture.

(Photo courtesy Granddaughter Ava)

The words from Psalm 127:2, “The LORD gives His beloved sleep,” have reverberated through my mind for months now, crying out to be received. And I can’t receive this blessing of sleep if I don’t get to bed! 1 Thessalonians 5:7 reminds me that normal sleep time is at night! 

I’ve been doing well with this one small step — because that’s all it is, just one, and small.

But because the flesh has “great aspirations,” it’s hard to rest in one small step alone for a whole month.

Besides, finding myself  still in nightgown and robe, at 9 AM, or even 10, even after rising at, say, 5, doesn’t feel like progress!

Prayer and writing productivity just get snowballing, and the momentum propels me forward. Though accomplishing much, I look like one who lolls in bed!

… and what if the doorbell rings!

Plus, it feels icky, finding myself still unwashed, the kitchen still disheveled, and me out of sync with a good and long-established habit of getting dressed on rising.

So I nudged in a second small step, my reliable old routine restored, though modified, including a deadline: Be dressed by 7, with a laundry load sloshing by then too, on mornings when laundry needs doing and I’m not going out.

That’s working. Today I’m all showered and dressed and ready by 7:00 to go somewhere in late morning (maybe a first!), and I did spend that time with God. And still hitting bed by 10:30 (well, last night 10:32, so better cinch tighter), and still rising for quiet pre-dawn solitude with God.

But it isn’t quite as sweet, with repeated glancing at my watch, thinking deadline. Today all that adds special pressure because I slept a little later than usual, and have a morning meeting.

A little pressure is good, and I don’t want to start reneging on self-commitments already. So I don’t intend to drop any of this. But no more for January!

Small steps and slow won the race for the turtle, and they can win the race for me, too.

Linked to…

“Closer”

 

They’re choosing “heart words,” just one each, to guide the year, to keep them focused in one direction till the end of 2012. Though I never thought to do this myself, I’ve been thinking about it, and the word that keeps coming up is “closer.”

As in “just a closer walk with Thee,” as in “nearer my God to Thee,” as in my aim over the past year, from some point on, anyhow.

It’s a word I could use year after year. Because we never arrive, not in this life. Even Paul said that. But he kept straining forward to take hold of the Lord Who had taken hold of Him.

Nearly all the New Year’s resolutions I’d list and pursue (if I did that anymore) fall under the umbrella of “closer.”  Even things that might not seem related, like the present month’s resolve to get to bed at a regular, sensible time. (I want to wake well in early morning to draw near Him in prayer and quiet communion.) They’re all aimed toward helping me along in that direction: closer to Him, closer to His ways, closer to the things nearest and dearest to Him.

So, my heart word, decided. It’s CLOSER. Draw me ever closer, Lord, to the heart of Thee!

Linked to

Walk with Him Wednesdays

The Very Best Way to Start January Mondays

 

A January Monday: day famous for dimness of joy-light, for difficult getting-going.

“Rise and shine!”

But the rising takes more effort, the shining groans yet harder, on January Mondays.

Attitude maker = gratitude. Start there…

…and give the thanks to the Giver of all good things.

But even the thanksgiving seems weighed down with inertia. Haven’t I named it all, already, through my years of thanking (stretching back, how long now)?

Then I read this (explained more here), and the prompts get me going, through the week. And writing this review on Monday morning gets me rising, even shining.

Starting all over with a brand new counting of His gifts and graces, #1-27, truly new ones every morning.

Thanking Him…

for putting in me…

encouragement, to pass on to others

understanding of His Word, to savor and to share

skill and health for my hands to work, uncrippled.

For a gift outside:

first star appearing bright above the trees (see above)

For a gift that runs from outside inside:

water from the faucet, fresh and pure,

 

For a gift now inside:

tomatoes red and bright, and striped in sun mist on the window ledge, last “crop” from the now-chilled greenhouse. 

 

Praise for pleasure on a plate (a new way with pounded chicken, with country ingredients procured close-by).

From overheard graces…

on blog comments,

on the phone, 

in a Twitter Tweet.

One gift old (and blue):

the threadbare grace that must be replaced: my navy long coat, presentable publicly no more, but still my warm companion on winter woodland wanderings. (It is well loved, that good old coat, like the Velveteen Rabbit, in its faithful service over long years.) 

 One gift borrowed:

books from the little public library (right next door to the clinic where I wait for allergy shots, then wait some more till time to be checked — and read).

One gift new:

warm wool coat to replace “Old Blue.”

Something I’m (re)reading:The Pursuit of God

Something I’m making: warm handspun yarn for socks or scarf

Something I see…

oh, almost everything I see!

(simply thankful that I can see…

especially the delicate,

like moss on rocks, and lichen patterns bluish green

and leaf folds frosted white.

One thing in my bag:

jewel-like fabrics to dazzle a quilt…

And another:

for kitchen wall, new calendar — complete with pockets to tuck things in

And yet another:

a new Moleskine (my favorite kind of journal).

In our fridge… good fresh local milk and cream, from our favorite family dairy, finally rebuilt after fire destroyed their store-restaurant).

“In my heart,” 

warm feelings for the man who took me out and sat and waited, so I could “play” in the fabric store, shop in the clothes store, browse in the book store (though this last doing he loves, too).

Light that caught me: the surprise of moon, shining bold through the pre-dawn window. 

A reflection that surprised me:

(new light on an old scripture, and pondering on it)

Shadows that “fell lovely:”

some that curled across the lawn,

some that striped the frosted ground,

some that played tricks across stone walls.

Three sweet graces from people I love:

son’s latest beautiful picture tweet

husband’s clearing away after dinner

friend’s gift of a flower that draws so strongly toward the light, as it prepares to bloom, it sets me an example…

(Continued next Monday.)

*****

Linked to…

On In Around button

 

Roar! (Five-Minute Friday)

 

[Linking to Five-Minute Friday]

[Go:]

Roar!

The seas roar! In tidal waves, tsunamis, fearsome devastation.

Roar!

The people roar! Outwardly, moved by mob mind come from somewhere. Anger, fear, foolishness! Inwardly, by the same madness, to the same shame.

I have seen the mob mind twice. Once, a campus craziness. A second time, a “church” fear-gripped by someone bringing up a problem.

And I think how ruled we can be by things beyond ourselves.

Let my heart, my spirit, my soul find stillness in Thee.

Let the people cease to roar (outwardly or inwardly), and start to sing Thy praise and power instead.

It shall be.

[Stop.]

*****

[Disclaimer: I go to writers’ conferences where I hear repeated, “There are no good writers. Only good RE-writers.” Emphasized and re-emphasized (almost to a roar!) Then I come to Five-Minute Friday, and naturally balk. Today I finally took the challenge, but allowed myself the freedom not to post, just to write. And then, right at 2.5 minutes, interruption came! I didn’t know if I’d post or not, because I stopped the clock, then restarted it and tried to keep my mind on course — and I can’t say I didn’t fudge a little. But there it is, for what it’s worth.]

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