Just this today:
Moments of stillness. Sunlight and shadows play tag on a tabletop, over books and papers, across index cards bearing precious Bible verses, and up and down my corduroy sleeve. I sit, letting the Light call the shots, orchestrate all the dancing – outward on the table, inward on the heart strings and soulworks.
It’s a change-of-plan day. I had big ideas… But…
I’m thanking God I’m not out there, chasing foolish ambition, on this sunny but chilled windy day – not trying to build a whole large “lasagna bed” in the old herb garden, with wild gusts stirring up a tomorrow head-cold, and a today frustration of wind-whipped black plastic and dampened newspapers, compost-chopped leaves and wispy grass clippings, flying in manic fits, everywhere.
I resigned that battle.
I’m not losing; I’m choosing. Choosing to relinquish the (over)ambitious – the kind of thing I too easily indulge before “counting the cost” (as Husband gently admonished, this morning), too often loading myself with unneeded burdens (as Crumbs from His Table so wisely warned, yesterday).
Putting all this together with today’s Bible verses and the printed devotions I “just happened” on, I get the strong sense my plans were not God’s!
The gist of the printed matter: (S)he with the task of encouraging others in Christ, of sharing words of God’s truth and good purpose, must first sink them down deep into [her] own soul, must draw aside to commune with their Author, drink rich from His wellspring, gather His leading – so there’s something to draw from the storehouse – so that what one draws out is God’s choice for the sharing.
“The hardworking farmer must be first to partake of the crops” (2 Timothy 2:6).
Just feeding and ruminating in speckled dancing sunlight today.
Joy. Quiet joy.