“Oh, go with me into the fog, and hold my hand…”
I pray it, thinking of coming clouds, blurring vision more and more, till at last it’s lost to me…
And I stop, awed.
That I can ask such, of such as He, the Creator and Ruler of a universe so vast we can’t find its ends, only find ourselves microbes invisible in its greatness, and Him greater still…
that I can ask, and know He will do it…
it’s beyond fathom, beyond expressible thanks…
And I do know He’ll do it, because I know Him,
because He’s already done more! He holds my hand now, already going ahead, already gone before…
Long ago, He began preparing a table before me in the desert I’m entering…
with quirky delights, signs of His knowing, love notes of assurance of His Presence, pre-providing…
He gave me a coffee mug…
I drink from it now as I pause my writing. (And is it “coincidence” that Husband just brought me coffee in it, this mug, not knowing my just-typed words?)
Twenty-eight years back, before we married, it sat on his shelf, and neither of us knows where it came from. But I know why it was there: for me for now. My Maker knew my eyes’ inheritance, knew I’d come there, drink morning coffee, little thinking its quote would apply so strong…
He gave me a song…
My long-favorite hymn: “Be Thou my Vision,” pouring out my soul desires—my song in the night, my prayer to the God of my life…
Right after hearing the diagnosis, right the next Sunday, just two days later, that song, uncharacteristic in that church, rang forth first, and we sang it with all the congregation. And we looked at each other, Husband and I, and tears brimmed, but not of sorrow. Of knowing… Of new meaning…
He gave me a ride…
And another, and another—provided them ahead of time. The neighbor phoning—who’d never called in sixteen years, offered transport before she knew I’d need it. Before I knew.
I hop in their car now when they pull in the drive, spend three or four sweet fellowship hours, traveling where I’d grieved I could not drive, before I realized I didn’t need to…
He gave me a way…
to read His beloved love Word…
I stumbled upon the website. I learned the Braille alphabet in ten or fifteen minutes! (Really! Try it!) Then…
Just yesterday I found a ministry providing Braille Bibles, free by God’s gracing through people…
and, before that, stumbled on another site, a blind man’s blog, where he wishes on keyboard he’d learned to read Braille before he totally lost his sight—so much faster and easier that way…
And though Braille instructors, defunded, grow scarce and scarcer, I’ll learn as Colonial children learned sighted reading, with just this one best Text.
And all that Bible memorizing He’s moved me to do by passages make the learning easier, faster…
There’s more. And more. But this post grows too long…
Thanking God this morning…
~For coffee mugs that say things profounder than I know,
~For Mr. Braille and his ingenious invention,
~For the growing number of techy gadgets for the blind,
~For the inclinations, drives, desires, and songs He pre-placed in my heart,
~For the encouragement from others as examples, and the hopeful inkling that He might make me that for someone else. (But more about that tomorrow.)
*****
The name of your post brought me over from Ann’s linky list. My sister worked with visually impaired students back in her unmarried days, so I was curious. It surprised and saddened me to see it was your post, Sylvia. How kind and gracious of God to show He is going before you in this journey. Thank you for this beautiful testimony honoring Him for His provision. May He continue to meet every need before you even ask or know it. Grace to you in Jesus, friend.
(Do you like audiobooks? In case you don’t already know this, Librivox online library offers free recordings of lots of public domain books.)
Thank you much, “Tinuviel.” But don’t feel sad about this, because I hardly ever do! That has surprised even me. I always said the last ability I’d want to lose was my vision, but now I don’t see it as all that bad—especially since, as you said, God has been so gracious to show me His going before me, giving me assurance He will also be right with me. I am sure He’s going to teach me much, and has much blessing in it for me—and, I hope, others, through me.
I do like audiobooks—and will like them more and more in time! I like to listen and knit or spin (yarn at a wheel), something pleasant I can continue. I will definitely check out Librivox! Thanks for that good tip.
God bless you much! (Glad to read about pain stabilizing.)