When I was abandoned,

I sat

in silence

alone,

Shadows fell dark around me…

Emptiness echoed off formidable mountains devoid of green…

For a while.

 

Then I came to realize, to recognize, to know…

I was not alone after all.

 

I read then of Old Testament “widows,”

How the Hebrew meant “desolate woman, bereft,”

which needn’t mean widowed as we understand it—

only desolate… perhaps forsaken,

left standing solo in the unlit night,

holding the empty bag…

 

How God is a defender of any such “widows”

Who turn their tattered souls toward Him…

How He said to one such devastated bride,

“Fear not—for your Maker will be your husband.”

 

 

“Yes,” I said. “So be it, amen.”

 

And so He was—

Better Husband than any fallen man on guilty earth could ever be:

More faithful Father,

Greater Giver,

More knowing Helper…

Closer Companion,

Deeper Lover of my soul.

 

Never alone anymore since then.

Abandoned to learn I was never abandoned,

Left free to sit in the silence of peace,

Alone with Him.

 

 

*****

Writing in community (not just alone) with the Five Minute Friday free-write crowd, on the prompt word “Abandon.” Visit here to find the link-up to many other responses to this challenging word!

16 thoughts on “When I Was Abandoned

  1. This is such a beautiful poem, Sylvia. Abandonment is such a painful thing to go through but I think it is often in those times that we can come to know God more as the one who is always with us and will never abandon us. My post today was on a similar theme, though describing a different situation. Hope you have a good Friday!

    1. Lesley, what you say is so true, that it’s often (maybe even always) through the tough stuff, the painful times, that we come to know God so much more fully and intimately. I wonder if I had never had any such troubles if I would have bothered to seek God at all. Terrible thought, but oh so possible. It’s so easy to look everywhere else in life for what we think we need, until those places let us down. These thoughts make me consider all those tough things as gifts in disguise, prodding (maybe shoving?) me toward my greatest blessings.

      Thanks for stopping round and commenting, Lesley. It’s so good to see you here again. A beautiful Friday to you, too!

    1. You are so right, Hazel. Abandonment can come in forms we never expected. I am thinking right now of how many ways Jesus was abandoned just before and during his crucifixion. Oh, the enormity and pain of it! And Isaiah says, “Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows”–then, and even now. Such love and compassion! What a Husband for our souls!

  2. Oh, this is beautiful! We so often buy this lie that we’re alone, but we never are. And being alone with God is actually really healing and restorative.
    Thanks for sharing! Your FMF neighbor

    1. Yes, Katha, we rely on our eyes and emotions too much, don’t we? But when we realize His presence with us, especially in those times drawn aside with only Him, how healing, strengthening, and enlivening!

    1. Hi Lynn. So glad to see you here. We all need this reminder sometimes, don’t we? Blessings to you.

    1. Oh, what sweet encouragement, Nichole! Thank you for stopping and commenting. I’m so glad to have “met” you!

    1. Yes, Sarah, as I read your posts, I sense a lot our spirits have in common–and I love your poetry, too. So glad we met.

  3. I’m so sorry you ever were abandoned, Sylvia. That’s so painful. But I’m so grateful we have learned that we never were abandoned, because God will never, ever leave us, even in those times when we can’t “feel” His presence. Blessings to you!

    1. Well, Trudy, thank you, but you do not have to be sorry. It was one of those “bad” things that became a good thing, God working it all together. It was early in my Christian life, and led to so much learning about the amazing ways that God can guide and provide in a little life that can’t give much back at all yet, if the person just looks to Him and leans on Him. (Which we don’t tend to do till we run out of other options, unfortunately!) I think of the verses in Psalm 119 that say, “It was good for me to be afflicted,” and “before I was afflicted I went astray.” It’s how God put me on a better, brighter path!

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