The prompt is “Here” on Five Minute Friday.

And my cheat this week is to include stolen portions from my private journal — because one entry there repeats that word… a lot!

It’s 9:15 and I am still here.

Still. and. here.

“There” was calling me with sense of obligation. “There” and “there” and “there.”

I didn’t go.

I like it here. But nagging voices say, “You should be there. Or there. Or there.”

How odd, I think now, as I shuffle out the front door, onto the porch, with my bundle of Bible and journal, pen and red pencil, and coffee in mug that proclaims, “Rejoice in the Lord always!” —How odd that I should feel guilty! Guilty for taking a soft half hour extra to extend prayer time…

You should be…

You should be…

You should be…

The voice of the world lays on the guilt.

Be where? For what? Would my time be better spent?

God stills earth’s voices, and I want to still even my journal writing and just sit still, with Him….

Funny, the weeds in the front bed call me as I take to silence. In my pocket a pair of “rubber” gloves await. I pull them out, pull them on, carry my prayer attitude to a seat of grass to pull weeds and thoughts together.

… I’m not “there,” where the siren calls shouted out to come. I never said I would be—at any of those places I haven’t jumped and run to this week, to spend time and effort and money. For what?

I try not to think about their nagging, as I return to the porch, three neat piles of weeds behind me. For I love it here in this breeze-blown, bird-softsung  silence. The wind-turned page makes “loud” rattle, it’s so quiet now…

Thinning carrots later I think it again: enjoying, just enjoying so much being here, not gallivanting all over the country.

Swallowtail on Echinacea flowers, chirp of baby bird in apple tree, intermittent sound like fluttering wings, warm but not oppressive sun, sweet breeze, quiet patient outdoor work, in the dryness no flies or bugs…

A question writhes its way from my heart to my lips: “Lord,” I whine, “Is there anything wrong with a woman just staying home?”

Bang! Bible truth hits like a jolt.

Keeper. At home. You can’t keep a place if you aren’t there.

Or rather here. and now.

And. I. like it. here.

At just this point the mailman arrives, and instead of pulling up to the mailbox, he turns into the drive. That means there’s a package…

Next time: confirmation in a box.

*****

Also linked to

On Your Heart Tuesdays

 

24 thoughts on “Still Here

  1. Oh, Deja Vu-the whole beginning sounds like my mornings! I carry my bundle and coffee out to the back patio! Sweet! I love that you shared from your journal.
    Oh, and such a sweet point – we can’t keep the home if we are not there. Be grateful you can. I need to work, but God is so good to allow and provide well for me, and helps keep me balanced when I work. It is good if you can be home and your hubby also supports you in it. Now consider joining the Random Journal Day Link up over at my place, ok? In His Grace, Dawn
    http://beneaththesurface-dawn.blogspot.com/p/links.html

    1. Oh, yes, Dawn, I’ve been there, having to be out at work, even moonlighting, but was so very thankful for the employment which God clearly supplied. (I wrote about that a few posts back, in fact, in Crazy Faith Day.) And I think part of the guilt feeling of being at home is knowing not every woman can. God’s special blessing to you in your own needful present path, and I’ll be checking out your linkup! (Sounds scarier than 5 minute friday though!) Thanks much.

  2. Hi Linda,
    Nice to have you visiting “out on the porch.” Wish we could sit down for a coffee or tea. Thanks for stopping to comment.

  3. Yes, to be still, and to be here. Everything seems to try to pull us away from that. How much better to just be still with Him. Thank you for sharing this!

  4. Hi Mary. Yep, it’s a crazy, racing, overloading world. When we can “steal” some silence, well, I think that’s a moment to seize. Thanks for visiting; hope you can “steal” some stillness, too.

  5. LOVE every word you shared from your heart here friend. There are times too that I feel the world pulling me away from this sweet time with Him and I am so thankful that He pulls too. So the enemy can’t get me away but maybe the distraction of guilt will ruin the time. I have become protective of my time with Him and resist the urge to excuse, feel guilty, or apologize for it. Because the truth is that these moments with Him lead the rest of the day for me. Thanks so much for sharing this today! Blessings!

  6. Not surprised you like it on your porch… all these wonderful bushes, outdoor sounds… and sun (we aren’t having a lot of sun this year on the East coast of Scotland)!

    I could just imagine being there on your porch soaking up the presence of God in such a beautiful climate too. Lovely!

  7. And I love everything in your comment, Wendy (#1). You express so beautifully and exactly my own heart here.
    “I am so thankful that He pulls too.” Thanks so much for enriching this post with your words.

  8. Dear Wendy (at E1A),
    I find it such a blessing to be enjoying such fellowship with a sister in Christ like you, as if there were no great ocean between but we’re sitting there on that porch together.
    As for the weather, we have been getting parched this summer. I love these beautiful days, but the gardens and even the trees are suffering from them. It would be nice if we could trade: a few of our sunshiny days for some of your clouds, if they brought rain with them!
    I’m so glad you stopped to visit and comment! God bless your coming week!

  9. Oh, Sylvia. Every word here is an embrace, like I was sitting in your heart. This is beautifully felt and written and such confirmation of this Still Saturday community. So many phrases have glued themselves to me, but this–odd that we should feel guilty for taking a soft half hour… I’ll be thinking about that. The enemy wants us to think our power is in the rush and the hurry, in the doing, but the real power is in the quiet and the still and the being. Thank you for this, sweet friend.

  10. Being “here”, abiding, in this moment…whatever I am doing, focusing on that breath, instead of where I should be, want to be, think I have to be…it’s been a discipline for me this week. Thanks for this post, that lets me know I am not walking it alone!

  11. Sandy,
    I think you *are* sitting in my heart. I think I can feel you there! 🙂
    You put it so well: “The enemy wants us to think our power is in the rush and the hurry, in the doing, but the real power is in the quiet and the still and the being.” Thank you for this so-helpful comment, and for initiating this community of stillness and being.

  12. Michelle, it’s so good to know of a fellow traveler on the same (rocky) path. It is a discipline we must doggedly pursue in this crazy world, isn’t it? God bless your trek through this coming week.

  13. Yes, Jen, it is so (sadly) true that we often expect things of ourselves that He never asks of us, that He would delight more in us following our hearts — if they point toward Him! And so often they do, while our self-expectations are just pulling us away from Him! So good to stop and take stock in these terms. Thanks so much for visiting and commenting. Blessings!

  14. stopping by from PD’s…oh yes…here…God is speaking this to me…I quoted from a devotional called God Calling today…the words call us to HIm…away from all the noise. blessings to you~

  15. Oh, yes, Roseann, I hopped over to your place and read. That’s what this was, wasn’t it? “God calling.” And we almost have to get away *from* the noise to hear Him, don’t we! So glad you got such a lovely away time. And that you stopped and left your comment here. God bless you, too!

  16. So glad you didn’t listen to those nagging voices, and you took the time to be with God on your lovely porch…Blessings, Sylvia…visiting from PD w/ God.

  17. Now I’m curious, What’s in the box!?

    I’ve found the older I get, the more I just want to be home too. Thankful for the opportunity.

  18. Me too, Mary Beth. Once I thought the more I was running around in circles, busy, busy, overwhelmed, the more useful I was being. Hah! Now I know better! And am also thankful to the opportunity for at-homeness — and the rare soft silence!

    (The next post tells what’s in the box… and the wonder of it…)

    Thanks for commenting. So good to “see” you here again!

  19. There are so many things that pull us, aren’t there? When we can receive that gift of “here”…ah, such a blessing. This post challenges me to do the same.

    1. Yes, Laura, that’s so true. I just got home from being out and about all day, and tomorrow I guess I’ll have to do some “running.” But I am looking forward at least to a morning “here” something like this before that. Thanks much for stopping to comment!

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